


exhausting (vent)

by onlyregrettablechoices



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood and Injury, Hurt, Mild Blood, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28545333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyregrettablechoices/pseuds/onlyregrettablechoices
Summary: well we all know about daves childhoodand he hates when he remembers itbut stuck on a meteor for three yearstheres not much the teen can do about that---a ventfic i wrote a couple months back mid breakdown at 4am and one of the best things ive ever written. yes im currently doing fine.
Relationships: Dave Strider & Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	exhausting (vent)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry in advance if this isnt the most in character, i have not edited this since i first wrote it 
> 
> also this was originally in colour, with the entire first part up until the bold text being in daves text colour, the bold text was highlighted in dark red and bolded, and lastly, the rest was in black and white (aside from karkats grey text)
> 
> this is my first post so. i do not know how to colourize it xdd

sitting in my room, nothing to do in here anymore. only been here for about a few months and its already purely draining to stay awake. its so hard to be awake anymore without just crying. its near impossible not to worry anyone, but its so hard to do anything. i just keep trying to make music, or write down how i feel, or even pretend to pester john or something, even though i know hes not going to answer. its not a big deal, i can make more friends, but when youve known someone for so long and been their best friend for so long, its hard to be without them for so long. 

im sitting in my room and my brain is thinking too much.

theres too many thoughts,

too many concepts,

too many words,

too many emotions,

too many things,

too many everythings.

dealing with the thoughts of my life up until this point is too much. ive always had a distraction to rely on,

john ranting about a shitty movie,

jade talking about some bullshit science stuff,

rose trying to pick me apart like im some sort of goddamn book,

new music to listen to, new things to read on various blogs,

new ironic bullshit to post on my existing blogs,

another comic to draw,

another comment to reply to,

just absolutely anything at this rate.

i would kill for a sense of normalcy, even if my normal wasnt exactly a good thing. and with that brief thought, my memories started hitting me all at once.

i am sitting in my bed, rubbing my arms as i start to feel gross.

my skin is crawling, my head hurts, i am remembering things that happened back at home. could you really even call it a home? it was more like a hot hellhole in texas. the events that took place inside were probably worse than the unbearable heat outside. i think i wouldve enjoyed getting heatstroke rather than being in that apartment for any longer.

as more memories fill my head, the rubbing my arms gently turns into scratching them, itching at my wrists until they bleed such a familiar shade of red.

i almost puke at the sight. seeing my own blood isnt as bad as the thoughts that are filling my head.

they make me want to tear my skin off because i know hes touched me. hes probably touched every part of me,

my hair,

my face,

my hands,

my arms,

my thighs,

my chest,

my stomach,

everywhere.

hes touched me all over and i cant get rid of it.

i know hes dead. he cant hurt me. the thoughts are still here, but i know he is gone. and so is earth, and so is texas, and so is his apartment and so is everything in it and so is anyone whos ever visited his sites.

i know he is gone, and i know we’re basically completely alone on this moronic meteor. yeah i have to put up with rose and those weird fucking trolls but ive been putting up with them for awhile now, and atleast none of them are as bad as him.

rose said that when we get to the new session, we’ll see different versions of our guardians.

i do not want to meet his counterpart.

what if hes just as bad as him?

what if hes worse?

what was i like to him?

what if hes really good, and i just got the worst version of him?

what if theyre identical?

_**do you really think you could handle trying to fight off some big boss while someone who looks, acts and sounds almost exactly like him is there with you?** _

_**you’d probably wimp out, get too scared and fail. because you're weak.** _

you bring yourself back into reality when you hear the loud banging of someone knocking on the door to your room.

“STRIDER? LALONDE ASKED ME TO COME ‘CHECK UP’ ON YOU OR WHATEVER THAT BULLSHIT MEANS. SHE SAID TO TELL YOU SHE FIGURED OUT HOW TO ALCHEMIZE SOMETHING THAT TASTES SIMILAR TO ‘APPLE JUICE.’”

and with such an important discovery, you quickly get changed back into your godtier pajamas, as you had gotten too sweaty to wear them at some point during your internal meltdown.

you reply to him with a simple

“oh shit be there in a sec”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed my first fic here :)


End file.
